Why I Swipe Left on Sarcasm

by Candace Garcia

It’s been four days, one date and about 1200 swipes left since I joined Tinder.

There are so many things to say about this dating app but the most troubling is the amount of sarcasm I have found. As with most single 30-somethings, it took me a little convincing, a couple of lonely nights and six months of meeting literally no new people to finally take the plunge and download the app.

 The Tinder app is either the most superficial degradation of the romantic process or the most brilliant and efficient dating innovation since birth control. (Not sure which but that’s really not the point of this post.) Regardless of whether you think it’s good or bad, a single white female swiping left and right will find tons of men touting their quick wit and  allegiances to sarcasm. Consider these examples of sarcasm references from the following guys:

 Chad, 30 – “I speak sarcasm fluently.”

Michael, 28 – “If you don’t get sarcasm, you don’t get me.”

Joe, 29 – “I’m extremely sarcastic.”

Shane, 32 – “I love craft beer and sarcasm.”

Matthew, 38 – “ Prefer a girl who loves me for my money but terrible at math. I race raindrops for fun. You’ve made it this far, do you have a sense of humor?” (this included to demonstrate sarcasm)

I’ll skip the eyerolling to avoid being a hypocrite. When did sarcasm become a desirable dating trait? I can’t figure out what these men mean when they brag about their sarcastic abilities.Have today’s late-20 and early-30-somethings forgotten what sarcastic means? Has the word evolved to mean “being an asshole is funny and normal” now? While sarcasm is acceptable in many contexts and scenarios, it doesn’t quite translate when advertising yourself in the “About Me” portion of an online dating site. Being sarcastic doesn’t mean you are witty or have an above average sense of humor. In fact, I would argue that it shows a below-average ability to communicate frustration.  It’s a passive-aggressive way to use ironic language to make the victim the butt of ridicule. While it is definitely an upgrade from just yelling or hitting a person, extreme sarcasm is still a way to show frustration without attempting to achieve a solution or consensus—not an appealing trait when looking for a romantic partner.

In conclusion: ladies, when you see a profile that immediately includes a snarky or sarcastic comment, consult my Sarcasm Alert scale that I just made up. Think of my hypothetical sarcasm scale while Tindering. If he pimps sarcasm in the “About Me” section, consider it a red flag that he is a Level 3, High Sarcasm case. Then, save yourself some time and swipe left. You’ll thank me later, but you’re welcome right now.

Attention devout sarcasm enthusiasts: Snarky comments encouraged.

 

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